I detest calculus. I understand it but then I get this problem that's like wtf!?! And when I find the answer or it's worked out for me, this weird algebraic rule I never learned is whipped out and put into play. Fuck you, if you insist on tricking me, fuck you. I understand the concept is that not enough. Apparently not for the fucking Ph.D. in mathematics. I'm not a damn math major so suck it.
My first week of summer classes is done. About to start the second. As you can tell calculus is not my favorite. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get into the lab to start some research. Oh yea!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Day 2
It's too early to be up. I couldn't sleep even though I only actually turned the lights out and put the book down around 1:30am. I can run on four hours of sleep. I haven't quite figured out if I'm just nocturnal or have insomnia.
So Schykill campus is in the middle of bloody no where. And there are a total of 8 kids in my class. Half of them are from Berks, haha. The teacher is this little asian guy. You have to really focus to understand what he's saying but he seems to explain it well. Three hours of concentrating on interpretting what someone is saying about calculus is draining. The drive home took almost an hour. Only 17 more classes.
I went to the bookstore yesterday. I got three books. I really shouldn't have; I should be focusing on my classes but I love the escape. I got another Anita Blake novel and a Highlander one. I found a copy of Frankenstein for $5 so I grabbed that too. Sigh.
Dea posted her graduation pictures. She looked great. I'm kind of sad I didn't go but oh well. I probably would have felt out of place. Then again, I feel out of place in any social situation.
I get to see Dr. D today. Here's to hoping I'll be able to do research this summer. I should also maybe ask about grad school. I'm so lost. I like science but the draw of history and anthropology/archeology is kind of trumping it lately. I can just see dad's face if I tell him I'm going to grad school for history or something, haha. I think I'll burn out if I keep pushing the science. I think I forced it upon myself to begin with. At the same time though, I really like genetics, especially evolutionary genetics. That at least mixes the two. I don't know. Deanne said to apply to a variety of different fields, and I just may. And I just may apply to schools in the UK, too.
Time for breakfast.
So Schykill campus is in the middle of bloody no where. And there are a total of 8 kids in my class. Half of them are from Berks, haha. The teacher is this little asian guy. You have to really focus to understand what he's saying but he seems to explain it well. Three hours of concentrating on interpretting what someone is saying about calculus is draining. The drive home took almost an hour. Only 17 more classes.
I went to the bookstore yesterday. I got three books. I really shouldn't have; I should be focusing on my classes but I love the escape. I got another Anita Blake novel and a Highlander one. I found a copy of Frankenstein for $5 so I grabbed that too. Sigh.
Dea posted her graduation pictures. She looked great. I'm kind of sad I didn't go but oh well. I probably would have felt out of place. Then again, I feel out of place in any social situation.
I get to see Dr. D today. Here's to hoping I'll be able to do research this summer. I should also maybe ask about grad school. I'm so lost. I like science but the draw of history and anthropology/archeology is kind of trumping it lately. I can just see dad's face if I tell him I'm going to grad school for history or something, haha. I think I'll burn out if I keep pushing the science. I think I forced it upon myself to begin with. At the same time though, I really like genetics, especially evolutionary genetics. That at least mixes the two. I don't know. Deanne said to apply to a variety of different fields, and I just may. And I just may apply to schools in the UK, too.
Time for breakfast.
Monday, May 18, 2009
the beginning
To start off honestly, I have no real idea in mind for the purpose of this blog. I just want somewhere to write. As I go, I shall think of something to dedicate it to, but until then it shall be just me rambling daily about my thoughts.
I start my summer classes tomorrow. Calculus and astronomy. I have little to no interest in the first and the latter, we shall see. I do find space interesting, but sometimes I would rather be left to ponder about things then to know the facts. And this is the reason why I am having such a problem deciding on my future. Grad school, job or what? I would really love to just leave the country and never return but I don't think that is a viable possibility. I can dream though.
Lang invited me to his wife's baby shower via text message today. I didn't answer. I'm not sure if I want to go or not. I know it would be horribly uncomfortable for me socially, but there's more then likely going to be people there that I had never planned on seeing again. I feel rude declining. And funny thing, it didn't even dawn on me that Lang is going to be a daddy until a good twenty minutes later. Weird, I cannot picture it at all.
I start my summer classes tomorrow. Calculus and astronomy. I have little to no interest in the first and the latter, we shall see. I do find space interesting, but sometimes I would rather be left to ponder about things then to know the facts. And this is the reason why I am having such a problem deciding on my future. Grad school, job or what? I would really love to just leave the country and never return but I don't think that is a viable possibility. I can dream though.
Lang invited me to his wife's baby shower via text message today. I didn't answer. I'm not sure if I want to go or not. I know it would be horribly uncomfortable for me socially, but there's more then likely going to be people there that I had never planned on seeing again. I feel rude declining. And funny thing, it didn't even dawn on me that Lang is going to be a daddy until a good twenty minutes later. Weird, I cannot picture it at all.
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